2018
Life certainly provides us with plenty of plot twists.
My original introduction was in written in the 1990s. Time passed, and my mentor, Eva, passed away in September 2007, of cancer, as she had predicted in one of her stories.
A couple of years later, at Thanksgiving in 2009, I got a bad respiratory infection that left me exhausted and although the sniffles and fever cleared, the exhaustion never did. My first year was very up and down, and I even had a few months of what I thought was recovery. Alas, not. I instantly suspected ME/CFS. I had seen what Eva had to go through and I had built an older version of this website so I thought I knew what there was to know about the illness, and I thought, “I don’t need no steenkin’ support group.”
It wasn’t until about a year and a half into my illness, when I was sliding down a slippery slope getting worse and worse, that I began to look for a support group. I found one on Dr. Bruce Campbell’s CFIDS and Fibromyalgia Self Help website. I discovered I had been doing everything wrong and pushing way too hard. If only I could have that first year and a half to do over! As it turned out, I ended up much sicker than Eva had been.
That was about 2011, so I have been a member of the support groups there for several years now. They are truly a lifeline, a place to go when nobody else understands, and a place to pick up tips on pacing, which I discovered I should have been doing since day one.
But life had at least one more plot twist left for me: In April 2014 I developed a very rare ovarian cancer, very aggressive, which was pretty advanced by the time I was diagnosed. Things didn’t look good. I had surgery, and they were not able to remove the many small metastases peppering my intestines and the bottom side of my diaphragm. “Do you want chemo?” my oncologist asked, and after a bit of discussion I decided to go forward. Thanks to the prayers of many and some sort of divine miracle, I am still here four years later, knocking on any piece of wood I can reach.
I have long wanted to update this site with all its treasures, but my cancer made me feel a sense of urgency I hadn’t felt before. Still, I dragged my feet, with some unconscious fear that when I finished the cancer would come back. But I was encouraged to do so by a dear friend, and so I begin again, so those with these dreadful illnesses can see a shred of hope and find camaraderie and know that they are not alone.
And I dedicate this site to Eva Shaderowfsky and Margaret Walker.
Eva was a dear friend, a mentor, and the inspiration for the 1990s version of this site. Eva, you will be forever missed. It is now when I need you most, but illness has taken away your bright star from the sky.
Margaret Walker is a friend, an outstanding woman much loved by so many, and the moderator of the courses and support groups I am a part of. She inspired me to reboot this all into the 21st century.
Two incredible women I am humbled to know and have known. I am blessed.